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Stains

Take a piece of my heart and stain it blue

In league with the cold that swirls around thoughts of you.

Take a drop of my tears and paint it gold,

There’s a hope in the sunrise, in a future untold…

 

Take a step of my journey and paint it red

From all the scrapes, the falls, and my knees that bled.

Take a dream from my night and paint it with pearls,

Open the oysters of passion that burns in ribboning curls

 

Take a drop of my blood and paint it green,

Like the leaves, the wind, and the wild that flows within me.

Take a taste of adventure and paint it with stars,

It will always tempt, seduce, and capture my heart.

 

Take the burden off my shoulders and paint it bronze

For my cross’s weight holds worth and shall be carried on.

Take a piece of my courage and paint it with fools gold,

Value is in the hands of the payer, and I paid that price in full.

 

Take an ounce of my strength and set it under a microscope

You’ll find it’s all borrowed love and trust and reckless hope.

Take the chaos, dirt stains, and blemishes of what I’ve done;

Take my heart, my tears, my hopes, my wild blood,

 

These are my colors; my nights, my pains, my journeys, my dreams,

my adventures, my burdens, my courage, my strength

Take them, and let our colors blend together with time.

Or leave me, but never try to wash me a meaningless white.

Just to Be alive

I’m glad he made it this far

all twenty years of him.

& he may be young & stupid

but he will make it through all of this.

He will grow wise & older

& someday, truly be a man.

if he can make it to that meadow

& just stay alive till then.

just to be alive

just to spend another day,

growing one day wiser

Lord, i pray, day by day…

it’s not easy to be true to your heart

when your heart is broken in two

it’s not easy to hide the scar

when it’s still bleeding through…

it’s not easy to move on, it’s true..

no matter how much you move..

ghosts don’t stop taunting,

& shadows keep following you.

it’s not easy to forgive rejection

such a disdainful blow to one’s pride.

It’s easier to forgive the gravest sin

than that which is nothing but kind.

it’s not easy to try again, again and again

but love and heartbreak both knock within

they pull at fear and hope at the same time

and you never know which one you will find.

 

 

 

If you listen closely…

I’ll tell you, like many before, who tried in vain,
of an enchanted kingdom, lost in the mundane.
Hush hush, and hear the truth I now reveal;
of a second life, that sleep tries to steal.:
* * * * *
A magnificent sunset as rich as gold
Descends as the night begins to unfold
The light of day begins to fade
Its songs and movements melting away
* * * * *
A spring of magic falls from the stars
An enchanting silence is played from afar
Leaves wafting to the ground in the autumn breeze
In this sea of wonders, your heart is set free
* * * * *
And tucked in the flowers, fairies lay
Oblivious to the magic that proceeds the day
The spell that is cast on the darkness of the night
Few can witness as they don’t have the time
* * * * *
The murmur of crickets is heard in the air
Echoing loudly in the quiet’s lair
The moon sitting in its throne high in the sky
Reigning over all the free spirits in the sky
* * * * *
Dreams are real as the soul of a child
A reflection of your unknown hopes, so wild.
But, don’t sleep away this second life
for it’s the only place your dreams come alive.
* * * * *

~Lianna Daniel; 2001 (11 yrs old)

~(though, the very first verse was written 10 yrs later, on jan. 13, 2011)

Princess crowns & blanket forts
magic wands and bicycle horns
misspelled words with drive-way chalk
baby dolls on carriage walks
——-
waving,  jumping, ‘hold me ups’
carved bananas & sippy cups
mud-pies served with sticks & leaves
T’s for D’s and W’s for V’s…
……..
childhood slips through magically.
some time between baby & teen.
it’s almost over before u realize
they’re growing up before your eyes..
……..
capture this precious moment
as dear(ly) to your heart as you can.
you will need it when he’s stubborn
and proclaims himself a man.
……..
don’t ever take for granted
the admiration in her eyes
she won’t always be enchanted,
you wont always solve her cries...
……..
‘snuggle with me’, asked so sweet.
head on chest to hear ur heart beat
and twisting into your arms
so many innocent little charms
……..
look at my muscles! hide & seek.
kiss my owie, chocolate cheeks
can u spin me around; again! again!
tickle monster & soft baby skin
……..
lullabies & the clean up song
trading words as they sing along
climbing on counters & “i want to help”
then “i want to buckle it all by myself”
……..
the years of ‘i want to be like you’
pass by far too fast and way too soon..
clinging to your neck, she murmurs, ‘i love you.’
oh, with all your heart, how you love her too!.

……..

here, today she’s floating down the aisle.
wearing white & a tiara, Cinderella style…
She’s been your princess since she was three
but today, she’s becoming the groom’s queen.

……..

Don’t cry, though. she’ll sing those lullabies again.
Remembering you, as she raises her own kid.
“Grandma’s coming! & grandpa too!”
your heart melts, when he says, “i love you.”

There it dangled off a crooked tree branch. Hung with chains, & ropes secured. My tire-swing swirled in loops as i spun my foot in the ground.

Years ago, my daddy had worked hard to make it fall so perfectly….I dutifully ran back & forth, from the house to my dad; refilling his big blue cup with icy iced tea. My dad sweated right through his shirt, but he didn’t quit or complain; my Daddy was too tough for meer sweat to hinder him. He hung that tire perfectly. It was not too high, & not too close to the ground. Finally, I looked in awe at his masterpiece.

My tire-swing lived in a little clearing, that wasn’t visible from the road or our home. I had memorized the path to that old tire better than the back of my hand. I knew where to duck under branches, hurdle dead logs, & jump over slight ravines filled with deeply rooted rocks. Of course, i always carried a little stick that I swirled in front of me to clear any new spider webs in my way.

You know, there isn’t that much to a tire-swing, so I don’t know why I was so fond of it. And of it, only a handful of memories remain; scenes of trees swirling by, my brother & I giggling as we furiously ran around in circles trying to spin each other dizzy, and then those times when i just hung calmly, contemplating the shivering leaves above.

My brother & I frolicked away dozens and dozens of hours with that tire-swing over the years. Around & around, again & again. You would think it would get old, yet  it didn’t… even after we did.

I took two kids to the park yesterday. The moment we struggled off their straps & lifted them from car seats to ground,  they raced for the tire-swing. Hopping up & down with excitement, they begged me to lift them up, and then spin them. I curled them into motion. Then watched the tire revolve. In my mind the wheel of time revolved in reverse. I saw myself, a small girl: My face was smudged with dirt, my frizzy braids had twigs sticking in & out of them, my legs were speckled with bug bites, and my bare feet were caloused and caked with mud… I heard my 7 year old cries of laughter & squeals of joy. . .

My childhood giggles meshed into the two children’s as time swung back to this play-ground in 2010…

It’s  just a circle with a hole. it’s just rubber & chains. & it’s just a child’s play thing. You would think that it’d get old, and that children would loose interest. But it never does, more kids climb on, when others climb off. For, it’s the children who grow old for it.

Time is elusive. Life can spin out of control. & while you might get dizzy; enjoy the thrill of the ride! It might be just an old tire, but it’ll never get old.

I pray… you speak

I pray… you speak
but I can’t hear your voice
your call… is lost
in the lies & deafening noise

I want to have ears to hear
I want to have eyes to see
I want to have wisdom to discern
What you are asking of me

Grant me the heart to love fully
Give me the courage to go
Give me the strength to forgive
Give me the knowledge to know

Let me find holiness
Ears to hear & eyes to see
the words you whisper
&  your vision for me

Give me the passion to serve
Give me the faith to believe
Give wisdom to discern
Give me the hunger to seek

I beg for the prayer to pray
I beg for the trust to obey
Lord, I seek the truth to share
I seek the willingness to change

I pray… you speak
I begin to hear
Your call… is found
In the absence of my fear

Let me understand what you want
What you want for me…
Thank you for this glimpse
of what this picture’s meant to be…

Some dusks are perfect

I sauntered along a little dirt path, that paralleled that vast Texas river. Across the wide water, towered cliffs that had been cut jagged with time. Like liquid glass, the water wiggled & reflected bright rays of sunshine. My side of the river was not three feet from where the water circled around the tall oak roots. Strange vines with berries, and flowery bushes lined the wild path made by the deer.

I was slightly distracted by the clear sky’s dazzling colors changing when I stumbled over a large, flat rock. These are quite common in the Texas hill-country. Our dirt is more like a thin powder over boulders & rocks. This particular grey & white plate was the size of maybe three elevator rooms. And it jutted over the side of the lake.

It was burning hot, of course. So i splashed some water on top to cool it off before sitting down. I pulled off my sandals and dangled my feet into the crystal clear waters below. A rush of cool relief relaxed my damp body. I love the heat, I do. And I don’t mind at all when the back of my shirt sticks to my back, and a film of sweat trickles around my face; but it sure does feel wonderfully refreshing to have that water cool me off. I splash some on my face and the back of my neck as well.

Then I lay back on my elbows & gaze at the sunset again.

I love sunsets….

They never are dragged out, but they don’t rush. They have such a wonderful array of glowing hues. The day is over and no one can make it, or any of the stress in it come back…. One more page from the calender that will be tucked away in history forever…

As the last ray of light faded over the distant horizon, the moon arose on cue. At my feet a second sky shimmered in the waters, stars and all. I couldn’t help myself. I was hot and sweaty anyway.

I slipped in, and swam in that perfect Texas summer night sky… Does that count as flying?

There’s a bottle tossed in the ocean
My heart is the note inside
Seeing destruction & storms all around me
But safe in my own little life
I wrote a plea for help
& desperately corked myself in
knowing my only chance to find it
would be a life or death risk
& the winds rage
& the moon casts spells,
the lightning strikes
& storms swell
the dolphins leap
& the waves roar
till my bottle is hurled
onto a jagged shore
gripped by the clutches of shells & rocks
held captive at the mercy of the sea
….here it rests, & here I wait
for someone to come find & rescue me.
From my crevice, looking out-
I’ve seen so many sights & scenes.
My sighs are lost amid the ocean’s roar
I just hope someday, someone sees
Someone climbing & scaling
Will see me stuck in the cliff
& uncorking the bottle unroll,
& read the message my heart has bled
onto that sacred scroll

oh, climber, oh fisher, oh man of the cliffs
oh fighter, oh hunter, oh whoever he is
please read & understand my heart’s message
& if you can, please, deliver it
deliver it to whom it might concern
deliver it to where the answer lies;
then tell him to find a ship & set sail
to where my empty body tries
where I try to live each day for you
remaining loyal, remaining true
as I try to stay pure so that when you arrive
I have everything to offer you; or, so my empty body tries
Someday my heart will be read & set free
Someday, my beloved will come to me
Someday, oh someday, I will no longer be
In a lonely bottle, tossed in the sea.
~ ~ ~
written by: Lianna Daniel, 2010